This week I’m going to be talking about two philosophical matters that are very close to our hearts, they are intrinsically connected but yet opposite of each other. I am going to be talking about, ‘love and fear’.
In a book I was reading recently, I learnt the idea that as human beings, when we operate in whatever area of life, in our relationships, business, in decision makings, we emanate either from the position of love or of fear. So every thought is either thought of love or fear.
This thought stuck with me. For me, it is very profound. So I decided that I was going to act it out, and see for myself where the majority of my thoughts are coming from. I started paying attention to every little details when I had to make a decision, express a feeling or enact a judgement.
It was interesting to note how many decision, how many actions and inactions one takes from the place of fear. Fear seems to rule so much more than love that it is almost frightening to consider.
When I paid close attention to what made me do or not do something, either that decision to make that phone call or not, send that message, that decision to raise my voice at those kids, it was all coming from a place of anxiety – synonymous to fear.
To send a message or not to send a message? Fear. To respond in a particular way or not? Fear. To say you care or not to say you care? Fear. To express your concern or not? Fear.
Fear of rejection. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of loving. Fear of judgement. Fear prevails!
So where is love in all of this? A biblical text came to my mind, ‘Perfect love cast out fear’. And that got me thinking, yes, just in agreement with the Bible, love is the anecdote to fear.
As fear is the opposite of love, if we choose to love and operate from the thought of love, then we can reduce a level of anxieties we experience from the place of fear.
When you are so filled with the light of love, how can fear have a place in you?
I came to realise that to get to the very best version of you; you have to shed light on the darkness within you by embracing it.
Do you love light because you are afraid of the darkness or are you ok with the darkness but love light?
You cannot be afraid of your fear.
You cannot push fear away or pretend it is not there or hide inside it for the rest of your life.
Fear is almost as powerful as Love and they have opposite effects when applied. If your action is driven by fear, your mind is erratic and unfocused but if driven by love, you are relaxed and focus. Think about it.
A decision to hide from your fear is a decision to accept and live with it.
A decision to live with it is a decision to continue to be controlled by it.
A decision to keep being controlled by it is a choice to live a mediocre life where you do not take any chances; you do not deepen any relationships, a life where a level of peace is lacking, and you cannot possibly shine at your ultimate best. It is a decision to live below your potential in every area of your life, where fear rules.
I find that we have to acknowledge our fears for what they are.
Is it easy? No. Is it scary? Yes. But can we do it? Absolutely. Would we be free as a result? Yes. Yes. Yes. I strongly believe so.
There is nothing more liberating than to fear nothing. Imagine yourself without fear of failing, fear of rejection and fears of all sort. That is you without limit!
I am not talking here about some fears that we have to protect us from physical danger e.g. having the understanding that if I put myself in the lion’s den, there’s a possibility I may get eaten. You get my point.
Little by little, as I begin to remove each layer of my fears, I found strength. I became free, liberated from the captivities I was under, which existed only in my mind.
I find that most of the time when we are afraid, it is all in our minds. The object of our fear is not real. We can call them an illusion. They are what we have imagined is that isn’t, could be but turns out not.
I remember once upon a time I was afraid of being home alone. I am talking about being in my own home on my own. My heart pounds every second, I sweat and dread every moment. Every sound amplified. Sleep deprived. I imagined any moment now something “evil”, “spooky” was going to pop out and get me.
Seriously, there was a period I believed it, and that was thanks to some things my mind has conjured up over the years.
I want to point out here, be conscious of what you feed your mind with; either what you listen to, what you read and or watch. All these have the potential to influence you either positively or negatively and affect your thought patterns.
Back to being home alone, for a few months, I had no choice but to be home alone, which undoubtedly meant whether I liked it or not I had to face my fear. Yes, it was terrifying but guess what that was when I discovered my fear was an illusion and was as a result of all the garbage I had allowed a group here and there to fill my mind with.
Ask me did anything pop out at me for those few months I slept at home alone with one eye open, doing spot checks around my house like a security guard, NO.
As I began to reshape my thinking about what made me afraid to be home alone, in the midst of it, I found freedom, I became mentally stronger and found peace.
It’s the same with that phone call you argue with yourself about if you should make or not. That project you think you should start or not. That person you should get close to or not. And so on and so forth.
If we analyse why we are so afraid, we may find that our reasons are not so justified even if they feel like they are. Because they are either as a result of what was, which no longer is, and what may be which we have no idea of knowing if it will be. Do you get my point?
So I am inviting you, just as I have and continue to, to assess the source of your thoughts. Every time you want to make a decision, take an action, choose not to take an action, ask yourself are you coming from the place of love or fear? If fear, can you choose love instead, and do things differently?
How can you shine the light of love to that fear within you?
This is an exercise that may provoke quite a bit of understanding about yourself. Please if you think you need a bit more assistant to address any issues you might discover, please seek relevant help where applicable.
Fear does not have to paralyse us and stop us from living. We can overcome it.
Love always overrule every other source. Love for self and love for others.
Until next time, take it easy.
Music: “My Algo2” by Yan Terrien
From the Free Music Archive
CC BY NC