I recently read a WhatsApp status update that talked about the importance of carefully choosing with whom we share parts of ourselves. As suggested by the update, failure to choose appropriately can have dire consequences, namely broken confidence.
I read this and thought rightly so! Rightly so because quite recently also I have found out that a lot of people that I have shared parts of myself with have in one way or the other broken my trust or betrayed me in many various ways. The most common is people using the information they have about you against you either directly or using it against you behind your back to slander you. Or use it to disregard you and disrespect you.
While I agreed that yes, we need to be careful now who we invite into our world, share a part of our story or journeys with as now I am shy, reserved and even unwillingly to share any part of myself with anyone, I find it extremely sad.
It is extremely sad because I am a person who believes in truth; being truthful, being honest and being vulnerable, and I find I must now begin to hide my vulnerability. I must hide it not because this is my default position, this is what I would love to do, but because sadly, this is what the world implores us to do.
How can we share when we cannot find one honest person to hold our confidence? How can we share when even the institutions we think are there to protect us are the same ones that expose us? How can we share when the friends we eat, dine and wine with, share jokes and laughter with are the same ones that sell us out within a minute or an instant? How can we share when we are all guarded, shielding because no one wants to get hurt, no one wants to be vulnerable anymore? And even those who are vulnerable, are not welcomed, but instead, they are shamed even if not outright betrayed.
What kind of a world have we created? Which direction are we headed?
I was having a conversation with someone a few weeks ago, and we were talking about finding our place in the world, leaving a legacy, and doing our best to affect the world around us. In my pain, I asked him what the point was? What was the point of doing anything? For what purpose were we attempting to live? Who created purpose? Who created the world? Who told us God was real? Is God really real or is He, She, or It just a figment of our imagination, something or someone we need to give us a sense of power or strength beyond ourselves just so that we can get by?
The response I received was that the moment I started to think like that, that why bother to chase any dream, goal, passion, vision, or look beyond myself, it is the moment that it is over. Whether I like it or not, I have died. However, most importantly, it means I have ruined the future of the next generation. The world that our children and their children will live.
Therefore, if I thought no one in this here and now was worth it, it meant the next generation was not either. So, if I must live, I must live for that generation. I must impact, influence, leave a mark on this world because no matter how I want to look at it, my action or inaction will shape the world I live in today and the world I leave behind tomorrow.
Now, imagine if every single person in the world felt as I did, who cares, why bother, what is the point, what would the world look like in 10 or 20 years?
Can you imagine it?
So, here is the point, if we all must be extra careful about who we share with, and we guard our hearts in such a way that we are no longer or unable to let anyone in, where we can no longer share parts of ourselves with ourselves, the question is, what kind of relationship models are we shaping for the world of tomorrow?
If we are all so insensitive, no longer acting in good character, betraying one another’s trust, backstabbing, gossiping, defaming and just hurting one another, then question is, what baton of hope, love, joy, communion are we passing on to our children and the next generations?
Can we not make a difference in our lives, one person at a time?
Have you ever considered that when you hurt one, you have potentially hurt generations after him? Because that one hurt could have a ripple effect on hundreds, thousands, millions after him. Let’s be clear, that same hurt can find its way back to your home. It’s called Karma.
If I must be honest with you, I am tired. I am tired of a world where truth no longer prevails. I am tired of a world where people cannot be vulnerable and honest about how they feel or what is happening to them. Or if they are, I am tired of the world where they are mocked, ridiculed, and shamed for their misery, for their choices, for their preferences, for their reality, just because sadly, a few people out there are uncomfortable, do not agree or cannot handle their truth.
We have a society filled with so many judgemental folks. We can hide under political correctness, equality, discrimination and diversity legislation, the façade of inclusivity, but our hearts devise ways to ensure that we divide people, we treat them less variably and quite undeniably victimising them even if our mouths cannot do them publicly or our policies and procedures will not permit it openly. But cunningly, behind closed doors, we lie against, we defame, we backstab, and we do everything we can to reap apart all the humanity left in every single one of us.
Do you know what we have resulted to? We have resulted to a world that only thinks about itself and only watches out for itself. You are responsible for you, and I am responsible for me! We have different psychological terminologies that continues to divide us that we can no longer work out our relationships, but instead, we are quick to cut off. Or if we are not doing that, then we are remaining in places of abuse and continuing to abuse, without change, and it is all supposed to be okay.
We have become a world enslaved by psychological drivers, pulling, and pushing us in different directions, using our natural and innate instinct against us. We have become puppets controlled by strings of needs that we have been told are important when truly we are content with the bare minimum. Our desires have been heightened. We no longer know how to meet our basic needs but are driven by our manufactured addictions. Again, we are told what to believe, how to believe, we have been brainwashed.
Yes, while I agreed that we need to be careful who we get intimate with and to what degree, I disagree to become one of those who can no longer express themselves. Express what is truly happening with them out of fear of being treated badly or being betrayed. I still choose to give trust and create a haven for another person, hoping that if they can receive goodness in me, they will be able to pass that goodness on to another person and carry on the baton.
Let me trust you. Put your trust in me. Let us create love, security, and safety again. For a change, can we have community? The one we do not have to pay for!
If we all gave to one another freely as each need, I doubt we would have many poor people in the world. We would all be an ocean of resource and able to meet one another needs.